Justin Bieber – Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Somebody help me — I can’t stop writing about Justin Bieber! Perhaps it shall end here, because this is my least favorite out of his music videos I’ve reviewed. The whole thing is rather drab: the color scheme, the lack of interesting visuals (I’m not really into dancing dolls or elves; they were talented but I’d rather watch Biebs dance), the random and useless scenes from Arthur Christmas, etc. Nevertheless, Justin is seriously passionate in this mv. Look at the way he clutches his clothing and sings to the sky!

Patently hyperbolic as usual, Gawker accuses Bieber of ruining the “entire nerd subculture” of steampunk. Even the Washington Post has gotten in on the action, though for me, the most surprising thing about that article was that random Tumblrs are now considered credible news sources. Huh. Anyway, all the little steampunk hipsters should calm down and go back to making clocks and wearing monocles.

Justin Bieber & Mariah Carey – All I Want For Christmas Is You

Seriously? I only have two entries under the Holiday category so far and they’re both Justin Bieber? Other artists out there need to step up their game because they are seriously getting dominated by our favorite adolescent Canadian. Can I ask why Mariah is trying to beat out the Plastics for most revealing Santa outfit?? I mean, I’m as glad to see her glamorous body as anyone, but this is a Justin Bieber music video. Homegirl needs to tone it down before somebody calls child protection services.

I’m not sure which Macy’s store Biebs & MC are shopping in, but I don’t recall ever seeing one that offered shopping carts. The funny thing is, I was linked to this video from Kotaku; they were freaking out about how Nintendo’s sponsorship(?) of this mv was the WORST THING EVER!!1!OMG even though the NDS was a harmlessly random (and transparent) commercial break in the middle of this Superfestive! song. Seeing Justin Bieber grab boxes of Nintendo DS handhelds just warms the cockles of my heart. Everything he does is so damn adorable! Which makes enthroned sugar mama Mariah all the more disturbing.

Justin Bieber – Mistletoe

Good job, Justin…you win the race to cash in on the winter holidays. And now everybody really knows how much your vocal chords have changed! I understand that some people have an irrational hatred of Biebs, just like some people have an irrational adoration of him. Let’s put those biases aside and view this music video undivisively.

How many of you were disappointed that Selena Gomez didn’t play Justin’s love interest? Come on…there’s no expression of love like showcasing your relationship to the world in a three-minute Youtube video! The mv is pretty straightforward; stalker blonde chick tries to sabotage Justin’s budding relationship with passive brunette girl. Justin plays Mr. Nice Guy and everyone ends up happy, except for the blonde chick who probably goes home after the holiday dance(???) and weeps before her Bieber altar.

Anybody else wonder how Justin managed to sneak a huge present onto his boo’s bed without her noticing? Girrrl, if you’re too absent-minded to pay attention to what’s on your own bed, you can bet that Justin is sneaking around with some other girl right under your nose without you knowing.

Just kidding. Happy holidays everyone! And by holidays I mean Halloween! And by Halloween I mean there’s still a whole 10 days before it actually rolls around!